Things

I gave my kids away today until Saturday. I really hate doing that. I don’t know what to do with myself when I don’t have them. I’ll probably in bed tonight by 8:30 just like last Thursday because I don’t know what else to do. The apartment is so empty and boring without them. Tomorrow will be hard, too, because normally I go and hang with my Mom on Fridays or something, but she’s leaving to go out of town tonight, so it’s going to be a few long, boring days in my world. At least I get them back somewhat early on Saturday and we’ll have lots of fun once I get them back. They have a bowling birthday party on Saturday afternoon and then we’re going to spend the night at my grandmother’s. Sunday I’m planning on trying to make a big breakfast for my grandma and the girls, and then we’re taking the girls along with my uncle and mom out for the day. I wish the weather was going to be better for our excursion, but there’s no real control over that one.

Went out last night. I didn’t think it was going to happen because our systems went down at work at 4 p.m. and didn’t come back up until 7:15 p.m., and my sitter was stuck there trying to get obituaries done, and I thought for sure she wouldn’t be done in time for me to go. She got done at the normal time, though, and I made the trip out. It was okay. I didn’t really drink, but we still had fun. Just was hoping for more, I guess, but it may just be the funk I’m in right now.

I made the comment to my friend last night that I just couldn’t bring myself to do stuff around the apartment. I have dishes that need done, laundry that needs put away, but by the time I get the girls to bed I just want to go to bed myself. It could be my heart thing or as she put it, I’m probably just in a funk. She said even though I don’t show it openly and sit there and cry about where I’m at, it’s still affecting me. It’s a very emotional/stressful thing I’m going through right now, and even though it’s something I wanted and don’t regret, it’s still emotionally draining right now, and will be until everything is finalized, and it’s just going to take time for me to get back into my normal routine. Her saying that made me feel much better about myself, lol. Thank God for friends =)